Free Day Conflict

[rednow]

Hi everyone.

I'm having conflicting thoughts on my free day.

Basically, all week I am spurred on by the thought that I can eat some junk on Sundays. All the TV commercials of tasty junk is such a tease (as well as my boyfriend eating only junk) so I just think "only 3 days to go and you can eat it too".

When that day finally comes, I find myself in turmoil. For instance, this morning I had a white bread sandwich with butter and cheese that I had promised myself all week. However, I felt too guilty to eat it all. The turmoil comes because I know that I shouldn't feel guilty, after all, Bill did say to go ahead and eat whatever you like because you deserve it.

The next stage is that I know in a few days when I get little cravings I will regret not eating the whole sandwich amongst other food I wished I'd have had.

After all of this, I am then left thinking that I shouldn't eat the junk if these thoughts just leave me feeling guilty as it completely contradicts the point of enjoying it. However, do I try to just get over it mentally and try to make the most of my free day?

Reading Bill's book made me sure that I should just eat and enjoy. However, all of the insights that people have about foods on this forum eg foods that are just empty calories make me wonder if eating them is pointless despite the fact that I love them. (Please don't think I don't appreciate the insights because I feel so much more inquisitive and in control because of them). For example, I would love to have a glass of full fat coke on my free day but it's so hard to decipher whether or not it's worth it and I go through the whole mental process I have described!

I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be like this! I may be over-analysing but I am about to start week 6 and am really serious about the challenge. This really is the only thing I am having an issue with. Everything else is going great and so far I have lost 12 1bs so that my current weight is now 147 1bs. Only another 7 to go to reach my goal!

It would be great to have some thoughts on this. Thank you!

[Chris]

I don't think there's anything wrong with the amount of mental anguish you're imposing on yourself about these "cheat foods". Let's focus on the positive.... I don't know what your eating style was before BFL but it sounds like you're very much focused on healthy eating now. That's a good thing! You know white bread is bad for you, same with coke... and it's hard to make yourself eat it. This is also a good thing. There's nothing wrong with taking a few bites, or a few sips, and then tossing the thing out. You've satisfied the craving but your knowledge of what you're consuming is stopping you from going further. Congratulations! You're on your way to sustaining this healthy eating for the rest of your life. So why be down on yourself?

Here's what I would do... When drinking your coke, if you want to finish it, go for it. If you want to dump the rest, that's ok too. It is YOUR freeday. This doesn't mean force yourself to eat crap and force yourself to finish every bite. Instead pat yourself on the back for knowing when to stop. You have permission on your freeday to eat whatever you want... but you also have permission not to eat them, should you choose. There really isn't a right or wrong here, either way is a good choice...

Here's a story of how it works in my house. On last week's free day. I wanted pizza really badly. My wife did not. We ended up ordering it and I only had 2 slices. She was really hungry when it showed up and had 3 slices. She was so mad at herself that she had a nightmare about it... "all that hard work during the week, just to waste it on one meal" she said. So this week she took it easier on her free day. The guilt didn't stop her from taking a free day, it just made her reconsider what she wanted to eat. She still had a bunch of random goodies, but she also had a nice salad with lots of veggies. Today she's much happier than last week...

Hopefully this helps. You're doing great!

[BlakeD]

There are lots of people out there (including Bill Phillips) that say that cheat day is not only important because you mentally deserve it, but because it's physically necessary for your body to not enter starvation mode (and starvation mode apparently inhibits fat loss).

I'm not sure I'm sold on that idea, but I do believe in the cheat day because of it's mental benefit: it keeps you from cheating the other 6 days, and there's only so many calories you can stuff in your body during a 24-hour period, and so you're not going to undo the positive effects of 6 non-cheat days, especially over a 12-week period. So because for me the cheat day is mostly a mental thing, my opinion is that if you're able to do the program without a cheat day, then you should, and it's not going to hurt your progress. There are lots of people who have done this program with no cheat days, or minimal cheat days, and had success. I'm currently doing a 6-week challenge with no cheat days (only 12 more days left!), and I'm having great results thus far. And I seem to recall that elapo (who just completed his 12 week program) didn't really do any cheat days, and he had incredible success -- maybe he can explain more.

My concern is that if you decide to not do a cheat day because you feel guilty, then you'll find yourself regretting having passed up that cheat day (as you note in your post) and then justifying to yourself that "I'm allowed to have a coke today with my lunch because I didn't have a cheat day over the weekend, and I'm also allowed to have a piece of candy this afternoon," and on and on and on, at which point you're now consuming far more calories in "little cheats" then you would have had you simply cheated for one full day. The cheat day is great because it imposes a schedule on you as to when you are allowed to cheat, and when you are not.

So my advice is, if you're feeling guilty and not enjoying the cheat day, then skip it, but promise yourself that you won't cheat for the next 6 days. And then when it comes time for your next regularly scheduled cheat day, you can re-evaluate whether you want to cheat on that day, or skip it again. But don't let skipping your cheat day justify you ruining your eating schedule all together.

[rednow]

Thank you for your replies.

I have never thought about not taking a cheat day. The weeks seem to go by so quickly that before I know it there is another cheat day just around the corner! I think that the 6 days of exercise and good eating are now a norm for me so although I really look forward to my day off I also think it comes too soon.

From both of your replies I have decided that on the free day, if I have a snack and start feeling guilty, I will just not finish it. That way I can look back and say I had something that I initially wanted but threw it away when the 'want' stopped. Also, if I just don't need the junk that day, I'll just skip it and hopefully that will help me to enjoy the next free day all the more.

I'm sure it's all trial and error.

I'm well in to week 6 and have now lost 13 Ibs so far and I'm as fit as I was when I was at school. Only 6 Ibs to go to reach my goal but I think I will stretch that to a few extra Ibs so that I'll be in tip top shape.

Thanks again guys, it's really appreciated.