Alternative methods to change a lifestyle.

[ROBNY]

Firepenguin - Thank you

sshultz - Thank you as well.

Last night I went out to a baseball game with the guys from work. Had a good time and of course not healthy at all. Over did it again. When I got home at night seeing my kids asleep and I started thinking to myself about my problems and I can not explain the feelings I had. Horrible that I am doing that to them. You are right that they will need me around and I need them around me as well. Tonight we have plans to go out to a fancy dinner with friends for their anniversary so I know that wont be healthy either so I can look forward to Thursday to try and accomplish something better. I can try that. if that works then try another like you mentioned.

I am planning on going to the football game on Sunday and I am planning on bringing ginger marinated chicken breasts for my grilled lunch and dinner. I guess that is a good choice. If I cut back on the beer that day then it will be even better.

[Chris]

Rob, keep in mind that alcohol is a "downer". you will always feel worse about your situation after you've had a few. I'm only saying this because I don't want you focusing on the depression caused by the drinks to be confused with your everyday outlook. It's not as bad as you think, I'm sure of it.

[browneyes]

Rob,
I agree with sshultz that maybe you should take baby steps and just focus on the next meal/day or workout. If you do make a mistake dont beat yourself up for it. Put the mistake behind you and strive to do better the next time. If you mess up breakfast then try really hard to have great snacks, lunch, & dinner for that day. If you mess up all day then strive to have a great dinner. Dont throw the whole day away. Sometimes I think that you are too hard on yourself because you get so frustrated or depressed when you make a mistake. You need to realize that when you mess up its just a mistake, nothing more. Dont focus so much on doing the program perfectly. Every new day can be the first step you take in changing your life.

When you go out to dinner for the anniversary you are alredy planning to fail. Maybe you can make the dinner a partial success. Order a salad before you get the main course and get some light dressing on it instead of ranch. Drink plenty of water throughout the evening, even before you start eating so that you wont be as hungry before the main course comes. Cut back just a little bit here and there and at the end of the night maybe you wil feel good knowing that you did accomplish some little things. Little things add up to big things and also help you gain confidence that everytime you go out to eat it wont be a "disaster" in your mind.

I think that we would ALL love to read posts in the future about how well your doing or how great you feel. No one wants to see you fail at this. So many people understand the spot that you are in and they offer encouragement because they know you can do it and they know how great you will feel because they've been through it themselves.

Best of luck!

[ROBNY]

We have cut back on going out but this is a special occasion to a high end restaurant. If we are going spend the $$$$ might as well enjoy it all. Tomorrow is a new day.

[browneyes]

Oh, Im sorry Robny. I think the part I wrote about the restaurant was confusing. I didnt mean that you shouldnt go out to eat, in your post you wrote:

"Tonight we have plans to go out to a fancy dinner with friends for their anniversary so I know that wont be healthy either"

I was saying YOU have already set yourself up to fail because your saying "I know that wont be healthy either", and just having that attitude in general will make you fail. Think positive! I think you should absolutly go out and have a great time, just dont set your mind that eating out in general has to be a failure. Once I get the diet down we go out to eat and actually do quite well. Eating out doesnt mean you have to fail at the diet. Special occasions should absolutly be celebrated and enjoyed! Thats all, sorry if I confused you and you are right, tomarrow is a new day!

[ROBNY]

OK. Gotcha. I can understand on the normal eating out eating 1/2 the meal and allot of water before going out would help greatly.

[sshultz]

Hey, Rob, dude, I'm here for ya, man. Trust me when I say no one likes to eat more than I do . I agree with browneyes, you can make the better choices when eating out. You know, some of these restaurants have fabulous chicken. I've noticed that since most people consider chicken a healthy food, they don't order it when eating out. I have done the same thing myself. Now I looooove steak, lamb, pork, prime rib.... uh, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, chicken. Anyway, I love all those things, and pasta, don't even get me started. Macaroni Grill is a little Heaven on Earth to me. But man, since I started eating better, I've ordered more chicken and just about every time, I've been thoroughly impressed. Just saying you're not out of choices. And I just love the steamed vegetables at restaurants. Maybe it's cause I'm not cooking them.

[ROBNY]

Yeah steamed vegetables at restaurants are good - At home they become mush......

[winnie]

I would suggest you get your doctor to write you a referral to see a psychologist. I'm not trying to knock on you or anything, but I think that you may have some deeper things going on than can be easily remedied through a web forum.

And I don't suggest this in most cases, but if after several months of _honestly_ trying as hard as you can, you might investigate a surgical fix to your weight issues.

However, I think that if you can get past some of the mental blocks to success that you will be able to complete BFL and have excellent results without surgery.

I know that for me, I wouldn't have been able to do BFL a couple years ago because of where I was psychologically. And getting from there to a healthy state of mind took time, and it took effort, and I didn't do it by myself.

[ROBNY]

I agree with you that if the mind is not there nothing will be accomplished. I have been trying to relax more try to open my mind up to life. Just not there yet, I have tried a psychologist at one time and it was a waste of money and time. Now that is not to say another one wont help but I am skeptical about any form of doctor.

I stopped taking the Lipitor and tricor due to too many pains all over. Hopefully I can start changing my lifestyle ASAP before the choleterol/tirglycerides get bad.

Now I hurt my back on Sunday pretty bad now. I can barely walk. This has happened to me a few times in the past but this one is the worst. I can only blame it on being overweight. I have been taking advil and/or Alieve for the past 2 days with very little relief. I hope this goes away soon. I cant even pick up my kids now due to this injury. Will I ever win?

[winnie]

My opinion on psychologists is that you get out what you put in. Unless you get a bad one. Go by recommendations or something.

You might consider some sort of super restrictive diet. Like more restrictive than BFL. Something like nutrasystem or such where all your meals are pretty much portioned out for you already. Basically something where all the creative control for the diet is out of your hands. That way all you have to do is eat what's there and nothing else.

[ROBNY]

I'll look into that.

[Rhone]

Originally Posted by winnie

My opinion on psychologists is that you get out what you put in. Unless you get a bad one.

As someone who once upon a time wanted to be a psychologist, I strongly agree with that statement. I would also add in that it's important to have a good fit, personality-wise... it's not at all uncommon to have a bad experience with one therapist and a wonderful experience with another.

Also there are many different theoretical approaches to therapy... to insert my own bias here, I would recommend looking specifically for a psychologist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy.