Alternative methods to change a lifestyle.

[ROBNY]

I have to face it that I am not able to do this (at least at this time). I just cant seem to keep going. I know the BFL is pretty simple to follow but I just can't seem to go more then 3 days. I get distracted, upset and just get off the edge to eating whatever or worse a few drinks. This is just not for me and even though I see the great progress allot of you have made that should get me going but I just loose direction and hope. Maybe a hypnotist would help. I am sick of feeling sick all the time. The workouts just dragged me down more with is more of a deterent for me.

Anyone know of any other methods to start to get healthy? I guess walking around the block would help but that never lasts. Now I take 4 meds a day and hate it and are making me feel worse. The eating part that is really the problem. It has to be easy and right there in front of me that I just can not seem to get a hold on. The plan loks very simple but for some reason I will not stick to it due to emotions or thoughts. I get NO support at home and that has made things worse. Had a huge argument with my wife last week for making foods I asked her not to make and ended up eating the wrong foods and drank allot. I asked for low fat/low cholesterol foods and we had Blue cheese stuffed hamburgers. Real good on the cholseterol front. Work and friends are the same - no support there. I feel just DUMB about this and dont understand why I can't take care of myself.

Sorry for the vent but I dont know where to go next. Bad thoughts about getting away from everything around me but that is not the right thing to do either.

I am not arguing or looking for sympathy just looking for anything else that might get me to do something. A shrink possibly but did that a few years back to with no luck.

[ccbloom]

First, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Second, DON'T GIVE UP! We're here for you if you need the help.

If you've already started BFL (and I think you've been doing it for a few weeks on and off, right?), just keep on pushing through and finish your 12 weeks as best as you can. I can guarantee if you give 50%, you'll end up healthier than if you gave 0%. Then take a week off and get back to CH2 aiming for 65%. I bet nobody has ever been 100% on program (well, maybe statona, but he's special , maybe 99.9% but even those people will be hard to find. Eventually your body will crave the BFL lifestyle, the same way it does after indulging in a free day.

Also, don't be so hard on yourself. If this were easy, nobody would be obese. You're going to have hiccups along the way, both during these 12 weeks and the rest of your life. Everything doesn't get perfect and easy once the 12 weeks are up. Actually, it will probably be a bit harder, but your progress will hopefully be the motivation to push you through. No program is going to work unless you stick with it. Consistency really is the key.

I'm sorry that your wife isn't helping keep you on track. It seems that you know what you need to do. If she's not going to assist you, then go to the grocery store yourself, stock up on quick and easy BFL-friendly foods, and eat those while your wife eats what she cooks. And your meals don't need to be extravagant or difficult. Cook up a huge batch of chicken breast and keep it in individual portions in the fridge. Cook a batch of brown rice. Keep that in the fridge. Or even a bunch of pre-cooked sweet potatoes. When your wife sits down to eat, pop your chicken and rice in the microwave and eat together. Maybe it will rub off on her and she'll start making more extravagant chicken and rice meals for you. And then 2 hours later, eat it all again and see how jealous she is

So, the point is, pick it back up where you left off. No need to dwell on imperfections of the past weeks. Those don't matter a bit now.

[Rhone]

I don't know what to tell you, Rob. If you can't even stick with taking a walk for more than a few days, I don't think there's anything we can tell you to do that you wouldn't give up on just as easily.

You have to find a way to motivate yourself and develop eating right and exercising as daily habits that are non-negotiable. If your wife isn't supportive then you need to let her know that you're making your own food from now on. It's normal for your body to feel crappy when you first start a new diet and exercise regimen... you need to stick with it and let your body adjust instead of giving up.

[Wardrobe]

Robny, you're responsible for your own life.

If you don't like the food put in front of you, don't eat it. Make your own.

Doing exercise and eating right will actually give you more energy in the long run.

A hypnotist isn't the cure, and there's no quick and simple solution out there for you. You need to stand up and take responsibility for your own life.

In the end it's all up to you.

[KingV]

Consider trying to talk to your wife about taking part in it with you, cooking healthy foods will benefit your whole family. Getting in shape will benefit both you and your wife. I'm probably only about 75% perfect on the program and am still happy with the results I'm seeing. Will I look like a Grand Champion in 6 more weeks? Probably not, but I'm confident if I stick with it, I might look like a grand champion a challenge later.

When you fall off the wagon, the only thing to do is pick yourself up, and try harder the next day. Every day is a new day, and your next chance to eat right. If you're eating right 50% of the time and working out hard 50% of the time, it's still better than nothing. But you should always aim for 100%. I too fall in the trap of occasionally craving a cigarette so bad that I smoke, or grabbing a few drinks while I'm hanging out with friends. But overall, I drink less, smoke less, and eat healthy foods 6 days a week and workout 6 days a week. This is still a great improvement over my previous lifestyle. The fat I've lost and the muscle I've gained prove that to me every day I look in the mirror. If you're on medication for being heavy, you have some of the best reasons in the world to take care of your health. You owe it to your family and yourself. We all face challenges in our challenge, otherwise it would not be called a challenge. The only person that can overcome it is you!

[JoelMarion]

You need to set yourself up with a means of strong accountability to keep you motivated. One of the best ways is getting regular mentorship from someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve. Working with a coach or a mentor provides you both accountability and motivation - 2 critical factors to your success.

[Chris]

It sounds to me like you haven't found the reason to change. You've talked about many reasons why you SHOULD change, but you haven't given me one that will stick. Giving up your wine because you feel like you have to, or eating lower cholesterol because your doctor says you should, or (insert other reasons here)... these won't work if you don't believe in them. Think about the change and ask yourself if this is something you TRULY want?

Also, cut your wife some slack. Maybe she's having as hard of a time adjusting to this as you are. Maybe she doesn't understand how to cook more healthful. Maybe she didn't realize that blue cheese stuffed burgers were "bad". This is give and take Rob. And just because she makes you some crap you don't want to eat, it's not permission to toss out the rest of the week... that's all on you friend.

But back to my original point. We can't tell you some magical thing that will get you to change. It's not that simple. You need to "hit your bottom". I would also suggest that you hit up a couple alcoholics anonymous meetings. Not because I think you have a problem with drinking, but because 12 step programs work and it's an active support group. Listen to their stories. Pay attention to what is working and don't do what isn't.

Get back at it... or you know what will happen, don't you? Good luck.

[Chris]

To everyone else who's posted here... look at the words you've written here as encouragement to Rob. You are all "getting it". If you truly believe the advice you've given, practice it. This is a "winner's mentality" and some very proactive ways to approach this program (and life's challenges). Nice work!

[yakubu]

Originally Posted by ROBNY

I have to face it that I am not able to do this (at least at this time). I just cant seem to keep going. I know the BFL is pretty simple to follow but I just can't seem to go more then 3 days. I get distracted, upset and just get off the edge to eating whatever or worse a few drinks. This is just not for me and even though I see the great progress allot of you have made that should get me going but I just loose direction and hope. Maybe a hypnotist would help. I am sick of feeling sick all the time. The workouts just dragged me down more with is more of a deterent for me.

Anyone know of any other methods to start to get healthy? I guess walking around the block would help but that never lasts. Now I take 4 meds a day and hate it and are making me feel worse. The eating part that is really the problem. It has to be easy and right there in front of me that I just can not seem to get a hold on. The plan loks very simple but for some reason I will not stick to it due to emotions or thoughts. I get NO support at home and that has made things worse. Had a huge argument with my wife last week for making foods I asked her not to make and ended up eating the wrong foods and drank allot. I asked for low fat/low cholesterol foods and we had Blue cheese stuffed hamburgers. Real good on the cholseterol front. Work and friends are the same - no support there. I feel just DUMB about this and dont understand why I can't take care of myself.

Sorry for the vent but I dont know where to go next. Bad thoughts about getting away from everything around me but that is not the right thing to do either.

I am not arguing or looking for sympathy just looking for anything else that might get me to do something. A shrink possibly but did that a few years back to with no luck.

you are in luck. i have just the answer.

your problem is either procrastination, lack of motivation or simply discomfrot attached to the workouts and the eating. your problem is inside your head. what ever happens inside your head is reflected in yor physical world. e.g if somebody they dont deserve money then bet your bottom dollar that they will be poor.

whatever your problem is all you have to do is change it inside your head and once youve done that then the results in your physical world will follow e.g you will stick to the workouts.

fixing what is inside your head doesnt mean you have to see a shrink or anything. it simply means listening to a cd on a dailly basis. youve already identifeid that its your thoughts that are caasing the problems and these cd's im advising change your thoughts.

if you go on www.
thinkrightnow.
com

jhave a look to see which cd is the answer to your problem.

my advise is you'll either need:

*end procrastination now
*unstoppable motivation now
*setting and achieving goals now
*eating for excelent health
*i love exercising now

the eating and exercise one can be combined but this can be time consuming.
i dotn no which one you'll need cos i don no wot your problem is exactly.

i have the setting and achieving goals one at home and i could send it to you for free in the post if you like but i dont know wether or not thats the cd that u'll need.
have a look on the website and if thats the one u need i'll send it to you

by the way this is the real deal. thinkrightnow is for real, it is unbeleiveable trust me

[yakubu]

Originally Posted by Wardrobe

Robny, you're responsible for your own life.

If you don't like the food put in front of you, don't eat it. Make your own.

Doing exercise and eating right will actually give you more energy in the long run.

A hypnotist isn't the cure, and there's no quick and simple solution out there for you. You need to stand up and take responsibility for your own life.

In the end it's all up to you.

this is really bad advise , seriously. i know you mean well but this is bad advise. the problem here is HABIT and habits are unbeleivably powerful. so just saying '' you need to stand up and take responsibility '' is not going to do anything to help this problem.

saying to an alchololic '' take responsibily '' isnt going going to break their habit.

[ROBNY]

Thank you all. Your suggestions sound really good and I will try to adapt to them.

I have given up on trying to change the household to change the food types. Too many arguments and its simply not worth it. Tried to get the wife to do it but that was another useless conversation, sort of like what I have with myself. I got enough stress already. I may go buy another refridgerator for the basement and I will keep my own stuff there with a foreman grill in the basement as well. That is an option I guess. I get discouraged very easily and maybe that is the reason I dont want to do this. Chris you are right that I need to have THE reason to make a change. I sure have allot of them and some real important reasons and when I start I am good with them. Then bam - 3 days later I get discouraged, angry, upset, whatever and I dont care about myself to do anything about it. Especially at the end of the day. During the day at my desk I often get the motivation to go do something but then again I am at work and can't leave to go exercise on the fly. Again these are excuses not answers but I do understand what you are all saying and thank you for your support.

The wine is there and I do enjoy having it. Maybe more in moderation once a week would be better. I dont have to have it but there are times when I want to forget about everything.

[Marc]

Hey Robny, damnit dude, it sounds like you are in a tough place. I feel for you man and I can relate to a lot of your frustrations. I used to have the same problems. My heart was there but my body and mind just were not, i was not motivated, I had no drive. I wanted to look good but I didnt know why! Sounds kinda stupid!

Basically I had no reason to really want to look better and lose weight. I knew it was the right thing to do, but why did I really need to do it??? Life was good, even though I didnt look good!

You really need something or someone to set off that spark that sets things in motion. For me, it was a very hurtful insult from another person that lit the fuse and set off the bomb! Now I am never looking back and I never want to be insulted about my weight ever again.

Find the spark!

Keep coming back here, I promise everyone will try their best to motivate you!

Good luck buddy!

[ROBNY]

Thanks.

I hear ya. I should do it but need to get over that large hill (speed bump). I thought the insult in the beginning of the summer would have done it but that just got me more angry.

I will keep searching and trying to find it.

[Marc]

Try use that anger and focus it into your workouts and eating habits! Thats a Spark right there my friend. Find another one! Im sure in time you will find the guts to do this. It sounds like your heart is in the right place Rob.

Ok.........thats enough from me, starting to sound like Dr Phil!

[ErinJoi]

Robny,

It sounds like you have a lot of things going on that you may not have under control.

Do you like your job?

Are you happy at home? (Besides your wife not being supportive.)

Have you found that special something that makes you want to get up in the morning?

Do you enjoy your life?

I bet if you sit down and really make a plan... not just for weight loss (and health), but a plan for your LIFE. Make it whatever you want it to be - you are the creator here! Then, create your big goals, then monthly goals, then goals for you to achieve during the day.

Doing this will help you get a more positive perspective on your life, and it will make a healthy lifestyle easier to attain.

You can email me if you want - I love helping people with this kind of stuff!

Good luck,
Erin

[sshultz]

Originally Posted by yakubu

this is really bad advise , seriously. i know you mean well but this is bad advise. the problem here is HABIT and habits are unbeleivably powerful. so just saying '' you need to stand up and take responsibility '' is not going to do anything to help this problem.

saying to an alchololic '' take responsibily '' isnt going going to break their habit.

Uhhh... what?? Seriously? That's exactly the problem with a lot of people (this isn't aimed at you, Rob). Most people don't want to take responsibility for what's happening to them. I don't have any idea about this thinkrightnow thing but people control their own destiny, make their own decisions, and determine the outcome of their own lives. Yeah, we all go through tough times and things happen that are beyond our control. It's how we handle those things that make the difference. No CD or DVD is going to give us control of our own lives. I smoke. Yeah it's a nasty, very unhealthy thing to do. So why do I do it? Because I haven't made the commitment to stop yet. Every day I hear or see why I shouldn't do it but until I make that commitment and stick with the decision it won't happen, because no one else can make that decision for me. Until Rob finds it in himself to go through with it, we can spew advice and good words until we pass out. It's up to him. And do you know why most alcoholics finally quit? They find their own motivation to stop drinking, usually through some event in their lives that opens their eyes to the fact that they have lost control. They may need help getting there but they have to make the decision and take responsibility for their own lives.

Sorry for the rant but that was not "bad advise". That was advice on the only thing that will truly work. Again, sorry but it's attitudes like this, that we don't have to take charge of our lives, that someone or something is going to fix it all for us, really ticks me off.

Rob, if this is something you want, if you really want to change, you will. Making the choice is the first step.

We now return to our original thread...

[Marc]

Gotta agree with you sshultz, self help CD's or DVD's arent gonna get your ass off the couch. It comes from within, and you have to make that decision for yourself and commit to it.

Wardrobe, i have to agree with you too on this one buddy, we have to take responsibility for what we are, who we are and what we want to be. I think its good advice.

Yakabu, I dont think self help cd's etc will solve everyone's problems, sure they will help a lot of people, but at the end of the day its ultimately up to us to make the decision to change and have the balls to see it through.

[statona]

Rob - I think by now you get it. You have been here for many months telling us why its so hard and in return, you have received the support from people that have spent ALOT of time and effort on thoughts and insight into what you should consider doing to change, motivate yourself, modify the plan, etc.

What more do you want from us?

[yakubu]

Originally Posted by sshultz

Uhhh... what?? Seriously? That's exactly the problem with a lot of people (this isn't aimed at you, Rob). Most people don't want to take responsibility for what's happening to them. I don't have any idea about this thinkrightnow thing but people control their own destiny, make their own decisions, and determine the outcome of their own lives. Yeah, we all go through tough times and things happen that are beyond our control. It's how we handle those things that make the difference. No CD or DVD is going to give us control of our own lives. I smoke. Yeah it's a nasty, very unhealthy thing to do. So why do I do it? Because I haven't made the commitment to stop yet. Every day I hear or see why I shouldn't do it but until I make that commitment and stick with the decision it won't happen, because no one else can make that decision for me. Until Rob finds it in himself to go through with it, we can spew advice and good words until we pass out. It's up to him. And do you know why most alcoholics finally quit? They find their own motivation to stop drinking, usually through some event in their lives that opens their eyes to the fact that they have lost control. They may need help getting there but they have to make the decision and take responsibility for their own lives.

Sorry for the rant but that was not "bad advise". That was advice on the only thing that will truly work. Again, sorry but it's attitudes like this, that we don't have to take charge of our lives, that someone or something is going to fix it all for us, really ticks me off.

Rob, if this is something you want, if you really want to change, you will. Making the choice is the first step.

We now return to our original thread...

taking responsibility is the 1st step but thats all it is - the very first step. taking responsibility will never be no more or less than the first step.
the truth is that you cant fix anything , no matter how small, in your life until you take responsibility for it but just cos u do that does not mean you now have control over this problem.
after taking responisibility its time to change your actions but this is tough because your actions are run by automatic unconcious thoughts and emotions. the only way to be successful at changing your actions is to first change wots happening inside your head - your thoughts and emotions.

[yakubu]

Originally Posted by Marc

Gotta agree with you sshultz, self help CD's or DVD's arent gonna get your ass off the couch. It comes from within, and you have to make that decision for yourself and commit to it.

Wardrobe, i have to agree with you too on this one buddy, we have to take responsibility for what we are, who we are and what we want to be. I think its good advice.

Yakabu, I dont think self help cd's etc will solve everyone's problems, sure they will help a lot of people, but at the end of the day its ultimately up to us to make the decision to change and have the balls to see it through.

u are underestimating these cds. i know there is all kinds of self help cr@p out there but this is something special.

lets say im a rapist and ive raped about 50 woman and its something im addicted to. now one day i could wake up and say to myself ''this has got to stop. im better than this, i want to stop doing this once and for all''. now the decision to change has come from within and ive took responsibilty but even though i want to stop does this mean i will stop ? no. why ? because this problem is being caused by unconious thoughts and emotions. its a habit and just cos a person WANTS to change a habit or has taken RESPONSIBILITY for the habit doesnt mean they will change it

if it really was that easy to fix our problems then nobody on this earth would have a single problem cos we'd all just take responsibility, make the decision to change from within and hey presto are problems are gone. it just doesnt work like that.

try saying to an alcholic '' take responsibility for this and make the committment to it from within and you'll be free of this habit'' and theyd probably punch you in the face cos they know how hard it is to resist the urge to drink